There's not enough white in the stars and stripes.

Tunes in my head: IfWhiteAmericaToldTheTruthForOneDayIt'sWorldWouldFallApart by The Manic Street Preachers
Atmosphere: Okay


Writer's block is a strange thing, especially for me.

I mean, personally, I write in a stream of consciousness style where I basically take the thoughts that run endlessly through my head and put them down onto the page.

So to not know what to write...is this an emptiness of the mind?

Or is this merely caused by stress or the HSC or whatever?

If so, this worries me. To write has been the escape from any stress or pain in the past. So if that avenue is escaped from me...I have a problem.

And if there's an emptiness of my mind (yes, make the jokes, I lost my mind many years before), then that worries me too.

We are human. We have such a wide array of original thoughts.


































...right?

And if we really do have such an array of these thoughts, why do we think it's hard to actually express these thoughts?

I mean, I don't feel I truly express myself here the way I want to. Others will say to the contrary. "Oh no, Liam, you're a fantastic writer." or whatever. Maybe they think so. But do I? Not particularly. I can't express myself the way I feel I truly want.

Maybe my expectations are way too high. Maybe the stress of the past few months and the next few weeks is really getting to me on a creative viewpoint.

Maybe, even, my time is up as a hub of creativity. I hope not.

I mean, it feels great to write. To actually get some semblence of thought out there, to get people to read what you think and sometimes give some feedback. It's a relieving feeling to actually get stuff out...to vent, in a way. Okay, sure, the blog doesn't actually have ears, but it's better than getting yelled at every time I try to talk.

(Sorry, I don't want to have a go at anyone...this time.)

Do I need new topics to talk about? Have I merely exhausted the possibilities that this current state have given me, and so I need a change? Possibly. Of course, then I'd require some more emotional pain to go through, so I can bitch about that some more. And I don't think anybody really wants that.

Maybe I just need to take a break from this blogging nonsense.

Or could I work on churning out longer form things? Only post every couple of days, and have them be some well rehearsed soliliquy on a particular topic, three thousand words worth. (if you got the pun there, good work)

Don't think so. Some people have said the strength of this particular "corner of society" is the raw emotion put into it. The fact that I do give my all to everything in here. It's me...in a nutshell.

Maybe even through the fact that I am so often talking to myself in doing these, as well. They're not just mental, but the fact that some of these blogs could be read as monologues or dialogues isn't coincidental. Some of the stuff in here was designed as a verbal piece rather than a written one. I'm sure you can all guess some of them, and I'm sure you can never guess some others.

Well...as can be told by the fact that I'm writing this here and not in some silly little book where only I can read it, I'm broadcasting my thoughts to the world, here. What does the world think, in response?