It's opening time.

Tunes in my head: Fascination Street by The Cure
Atmosphere: Unrequited.

Dear, Suzy.

I love you more than words could ever properly say, and I highly doubt you'll ever know and realise this.

Not because I don't tell you. I try my best to tell you in my own unique, identifiable way every time I see you. I just don't think you pick up on it, nor should you. I mean, I can only reasonably expect so much. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me feel wanted. Even though I doubt you want me in that capacity. It's a tribute to your personality and warmth and strength of character, really.

You just have this power to light up a room, to be vivacious, to be effervescent.

I know there's a dark side within you. There is a dark side within all of us, nobody can deny that. One day I hope to be able to access this dark side. Not because I want to see you miserable. Because I want to build a strong bond with you. And I know you don't reveal that side to people. It contrasts with how I do.

To show me what there is in your potentially painful dark side would be an expression of trust. And it would make me infinitely happy, even in times of despair. To know you trust me to that level. And I'll do everything I can to make sure you're happy, to help.

I've seen you in these times of darkness. You say I make you smile. If I've helped you once through these times in any way, made your day just a little happier, then I'm happy.

I know you're reading this.

I've been in a lot of pain recently, and thinking of you has helped me survive. I'm in a risk category, 12.5%, one in eight. You make me not become a mere statistic.

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel alive, you make me feel at home. Even though those moments come extremely rarely.

I will you see you around, that I guarantee. I never break a promise. I just don't think you fully realise.

I would push myself so far to keep you from falling off the cliff. If it came to me and you, with a deadly disease and one vial of antivenom, you'd get it, any time. Any sacrifice I could make to have you, and to keep you, I'd willingly run into it and make it.

I love unapologetically, wholly, fully. I hate to be judgemental, but from your actions, your personality, I'm pretty sure that you're the same way.

If I had my way, the feelings would be mutual, you'd be with me. Not mine...just with me. We'd work together as a cohesive unit.

I think it will happen. Maybe. One day.

I'll see you on the other side.

Love,
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