I'm sorry.

Tunes in my head: Run Like An Antelope by Phish
Atmosphere: Snapped.

I'm sorry.

I need your support.

Did I go the wrong way about it? Maybe so.

Maybe not.

I don't know. The point is that you make me feel like I can do anything. And without you having my back, I'm disintegrating.

But okay. All I want is to have you back as a friend. If it takes time...I'll try. I'll try so fucking hard. That's all.

I snapped at school today.

Broke a lightswitch. Punched a brick wall.

It all came to a head, and these two blonde bitches decided it'd be fun to push their luck.

I punched in a wall. I screamed.

The scary thing is that I don't feel like I got ANYTHING out.

All of these emotions, all of this tension, all of this pain. All still there. Nothing's been resolved inside me as a part of this. I'm crying on a daily basis because I'm holding all of this pain.

I can't fucking let it go.

My parents breaking up, the whole drug abuse thing, dislocation and detachment, everything is just adding to the pain. I can't get a fucking break, it seems. I can't even get a chance to catch my breath. And it's suffocating.

I can't even hold myself together for a day. For a minute. For a second. Every little step leads to a fall.

I need help.

I need to escape this pain.

It's getting worse. Constantly worse.

Please.