Falling off the tightrope.

Tunes in my head: Esther by Phish
Atmosphere: Depressed.

Are you even trying?

Can't you see what this is doing to me?

Its's all a double standard. It's all saying something to me and doing something with someone else.

And it's fucking killing me, can't you see?

I am constantly in tears. Constantly dying.

And yet you seem to be content to kick me further down.

I give you everything. You can never deny that.

And yet it never gets accepted.

I gave you everything I could. I gave emotional intimacy. You know why it's such a rare thing for me to give that. You know why I don't give myself often.

You're going down the same path yourself.

You have something. We have such an emotional connection. And yet you continue to deny it, you continue to push me away.

You're scared. You're scared of losing people you care about. And you don't know how to deal with it. So you push me farther and farther away. Because you know how close we were. How close we are.

You need to stop pushing.

Because eventually you will push everything away.

At this rate, I won't even make it to November. I'm dying so fast.

You know for a fact I'd give anything to have you back, to have you rebuild me.

You know the happiest days of my recent life.

You know why they were happy.

And you choose to slowly depart from there?

You're so confused...but you know you're running down the wrong path.

We can all see it.

I'M FUCKING DYING. THERE IS NO IFS OR BUTS ABOUT IT. DO SOMETHING. I CAN'T HANG ON FOR MUCH LONGER. PLEASE, I BEG YOU.

What would you do if I were gone?

I bet you wouldn't even be upset.

Because I'm not the shiny new thing anymore.

And dead.