Tunes in my head: Mock Song by Phish
Atmosphere: Okay
Here it comes, motherfuckers, the inevitable relationship post that we all know has been brooding for so long.
What attracts us to people, really? Some will say that it's our own preferences on a purely physical manner. We have characteristics, and whoever fulfills them will automatically be most desirable.
And on a purely physical level, they're seemingly right. But maybe not?
On my level, I have a preference towards green shades of eyes and red hair. And yet I've only ever been attracted to two girls with green eyes. Whereas I've been attracted to more girls with blue or brown eyes.
It's strange, though.
And when you take the red hair into consideration, this theory becomes even more ridiculous. I've NEVER been "in love" with a girl with red hair.
So why do I so outwardly desire those characteristics, and yet inside, don't even go for them?
Is it because I see them as so utterly unattainable?
Or is it because I hide what draws me to people?
What are we attracted to then, as people?
I've always said to myself "I'll never date a girl who isn't intelligent", and I feel like this is one thing that truly draws me to someone. Not that they have to be genius level, just smarter than me would be absolutely ideal. (that's not too hard, is it?)
I find that I have problems conversing with bogans, say. I can't find what to say, they usually say fuck every other word, nobody gets anywhere.
But then again, what defines intelligence?
In my case, I don't think that's the correct word, really. It's a silly word. But it...encompasses what I mean.
I mean, I'm interested in people with an interest in literature, who I can actually converse with and feel somewhat intellectually satisfied by on occasion. (No, Kristy, as much as our nihilistic conversations are fulfulling on that level, I don't feel attraction because of them. Or do I? XD)
Maybe I look for someone who draws some sense out of me, who can actually get some coherent sentences out of me sometimes. Not many people can, can they?
So how do we define attraction? I don't know.
I like to think it's someone who can gain something from my existence, who I can gain from their existence. Not a parasitic relationship. But one where both people come out of it the better, the stronger, the wiser.
But isn't that so hard to find, anyway?
If it's not physical, if it's not intellectual, if it's not emotional, what is it?
I give up.
8 comments:
Psychological! She's all in your head! =D
I kind know what you're talking about. I dig brunettes, and yet nothing could make me more attracted to my girlfriend. And no-one even gets anywhere close to her anymore, on terms of me being attracted to them. It's kinda odd, but I don't mind.
And, from what I can tell, you mean intelligent to mean sharing an interest and having an opinion on "culture", or what you define as culture anyway. *shrugs*
And one way or another, you'll end up changing each other, if it's important at all to both parties. Whether that's good or bad....well, that's up to you both.
And it could be slightly Psychological! I mean, you're never attracted to a girl that isnt running around in your head all day xD
A note on less intelligent people - it depends on which of them you're talking to. "Bogans" and the like, well sure it's nearly impossible...but plenty of people less intelligent about who can still have a good conversation, etc. As you say, it is hard to define intelligence (or at least hard to indicate which factor you're basing it on every time you use the word) and the "bogans" are obviously lacking something which the good ones have.
"So why do I so outwardly desire those characteristics, and yet inside, don't even go for them?"
One point you didn't cover was that perhaps it looks are not the most important characteristic (or it is, but several others kicked in and overruled it). e.g. lacks green eyes but interested in literature.
And of course that brings in the intellectual considerations as another factor.
"not emotional"
... Of course it is emotional - why else would you completely disregard rational thought processes telling you that what you are doing is largely pointless?
In conclusion, all three are involved, etc.
Alternatively it is just some subconscious machination and almost completely beyond your control (more likely).
So, what have the girl/s you've been in love with been like?
In terms of?
NO YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO ME.
.. sorry, got too deep for me.
I'm avoiding using the grey matter supposedly between my ears for a little.
Hair colour, eye colour, personality. Etc.
What attracts me to someone? Personality, but also appearance. Its not that I'm shallow, I don't need someone to be a super model, I just feel that physical attraction should be a part of it for the relationship to get anywhere.
I always assumed that religion would be more of a barrier than it has been for me. And I agree, basically, on the intelligence point. As long as the person is smart enough to debate with you on issues, instead of just saying "No, you're wrong" or "Let's not talk about it" then that's all I need.
Do I have a type? I don't know. I don't think so, not in the most drastic sense at least. I'd never dismiss someone because they were blonde instead of brunnette, for example. And having different beliefs isn't a deal breaker either.
At least not in the short term. Who knows what effects religion and such things could have down the road.
Hair colour: Generally brunette, but I have been attracted to blondes, I've been attracted to people with black hair...
Eye colour: Green, blue.
Personality: One's a complete and utter bitch. One is the nicest, sweetest, but alas, shyest girl ever. One is the person who I can link to on a literary basis, a musical basis, on an emotional basis.
Post a Comment